being swanky and chichi and DRUNK

Last Monday, I was a guest to the 2005 Night Life Awards, courtesty of Dre and his nomination for Unique Comedy Performance. Going to swanky events is one of my favorite activites of ALL TIME, because it rolls free food, free booze, dressing up, and acting swanky up into one sweet package; what could be better!?

The Highlight Reel:
-SO MANY AWESOME PERFORMANCES! ['scuse me while I drool and you probably skip forward to the next highlight] Liz AND Ann Hampton Calloway [together!], Keely Smith, Peter Yawitz [my mentor's brother who won for musical comedy vocalist], Leslie Anderson!! Eugene and Bobby also performed a short version of their show.

-Who knew Craig Baldo could do the "Crazy Legs" thing!? Remember that weird commercial for Levi's like 2 years ago where the kid is walking thru South Central LA or some crap, just walking along in a wife beater, but his legs were dancing out all over the place? Craig Baldo was probably that guy's stand in.

-I got to wear a dress that gave me some semblance of cleavage. Commando! I bought it for $11.99 over on Steinway and altered it myself. MARTHA AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!

- a geriatric theatre-going couple adopted us at the after party. Mark and Anita were perfectly chamring and new everything there is to know about Golden Age theater. Anita also boasts to having once dated Bobby Darren. too bad I forgot to take their picture.

-A 45 year old lesbian who bears a STRIKING resemblance to the Snapple Lady tried to pick me up. When I pointed out my escort, she said, and I quote, "oh... you're here with A GUY!?" and then politely [more like abruptly] removed herself from me.

-An honorable mention goes to newcomer Andres duBouchet, in the part of ESCORT. Not only did he make sure I didn't fall on my ass in the 3 1/2" heels, but he also carried my glasses in his pocket [wouldn't fit in my bag], AND gave me a goody bag at the end![well.. the EVENT gave us goody bags, but whatever. details, details...}

-Oh yeah! Here's what is in my goodybag that I have no idea what to do with:
.some of that collogen stuff that stings your lips until they pucker up
.like 40 kinds of foodstuffs, including a box of tea with a gay lion on the front of the box
.a bathroom book. apparently it's a big shortened version of 100 classics, short enough to read in the can
.some DVD with Ben Lee in it.
.other stuff I can't remember.

All in all, A FLIPPING AWESOME NIGHT, with a FLIPPING AWESOME hangover on Tuesday morning, proving that i really DID have a sweet ass time. some photos below.
( you WISH you could have come to the after AFTER party... )